See You On The Flip Side

Goodbyes.  We say them often, for an abundance of reasons.

There are the brief partings.  "Bye bye, kids," as one scrambles for shoes and the other wolfs down the last of the cereal, "Got your lunch checks?"  Or, "Love you. Don't forget your laptop and your glasses," followed by a hug and kiss after an escort to the truck with the travel-mug of steaming coffee, "Goodbye, babe.  See you after work."  Or the reliable text, "Bye, mom.  I left early so I could swing by Starbucks.  Do you want my treat receipt for later?  XOXO."

There are the temporary separations from events or incidents which occur with weekly or monthly frequency.  "Well, that's all I got for now.  Tell everyone 'hi,' and I'll call you again next Saturday morning," says the husband to his mother, all the while sipping his morning brew from the favorite pink mug and catching the 80's rock show on MTV from his couch perch, "Goodbye, Olives."  Or this,  "I-i-i think I remembered everything, " murmurs the grown-up daughter to her Earthmama, hoping her toothbrush and charging cord are in her bag in the back of the truck, "We'll have to watch the other movie next time I stay the night.  Thanks for my special breakfast!  Bye.  Love you."  And, the often drawn out, "Another day for the books, ladies.  I really needed this," four pairs of amused female eyes blink in agreement as purses are gathered and keys held at the ready, "When can we do this again so we can eat and laugh and solve the problems of the world AND our children . . . and have it all posted on Facebook as it happens?!"

But the parting of ways becomes a bit more problematic during travel or visits on the rare occasion by friends and relatives.  "We promise to come for the graduation.  When is it again?  Send the date," far-away fun cousins offer in consolation as a fully-loaded full-sized SUV prepares to hit the highway for a two-day trip back East,  "It was so-o much fun.  We love you all.  Bye.  BYE.  B-Y-Y-Y-E . . . "  Several sets of hands, big and little, wave furiously in tandem until craned heads in the backseat can see them no longer.  Or tougher,  "Grandma, you can't go!  Stay 'til Christmas.  Ple-e-ase?!?" whine two playful grandkids, a touch melancholy to see their two-month guest fly away home.  She replies, "Oh, honey.  If I could do that, I would.  I love you kids, and your mommy and your daddy, so-o much.  Bye now, sweeties," and she disappears with the crowd through security and beyond.  And toughest, "3:40.  They gave us 10 extra minutes, but they're turning the lights off," states the road-weary older sister to her baby brother as they both nod at the guards and embrace one final time on this their seventh and last time together in the visiting room of the institution, "Remember we can talk on the phone whenever we want.  I'll keep racking up the miles for another trip.  Maybe even with the kids and their dad.  I'm NOT saying good bye.  Just 'until next time!'"

And that's only a handful of examples.  People leave jobs.  People leave homes and neighborhoods.  People leave states and countries.  Those goodbyes most often signal a more permanent departure with less chance of another hello and goodbye scenario.  Even with e-mail and the like, most folks simply don't forge bonds strong enough to withstand distance and separation.  Or, yes, they did swap secrets and laugh over life, but out of sight soon becomes out of mind.  Military types leave with no guarantee as to their return in the same condition whence they left.  Those goodbyes wrench the heart and imagination.  I think I'd prefer, "Go on now.  Come home quick!"  And the dying wish to convey as much as is humanly possible in the time they have left.  Their goodbyes more resemble a swansong of sorts rather than a sayanora, see you later, pal.  This is perhaps the ultimate farewell -- the final curtain call.

As for me, aside from the simple scenes of obvious ending, I tend to stray far away from actually saying goodbye.  I don't like it.  In my life, I moved too much without benefit of closure.  So, it's often difficult to do now.  One of my uncles is the same way.  Whenever he hangs up from one of our marathon phone calls which come once every month and a half or so, his 'bye' is a stilted awkward bit of verbal trippage that I always wish he could take back.  I prefer to consider each call a chapter in an ongoing larger conversation.  And if some audible form of leave-taking is required, synonymous phraseology should be utilized.  For instance, "Later."  Or, "When next we meet."  Or opt for the lighter sounding foreign versions, such as, "Vaya con dios," and "Adieu," and even, "Auf Wiedersehen."

Or, when a piece of writing is approaching the end and in danger of fizzling, simply sign off with an affectionate, "I gotta go, yo!"