Mary Kay

No, not the Pink Cadillac icon of home-based order beauty products.  The other Mary Kay.  Remember?  A 34 year-old Seattle school teacher, married and mother of four, engages in a sexual relationship with one of her 13 year-old male students.  She is charged with second-degree rape of a child.  After professing the moral and legal wrongness of her actions before the court, she was found engaging in sexual acts with the boy in a car.  That earned her a 7-year prison sentence.  Upon her release in 2004, Mary Kay Letourneau proceeded to marry the "love of her life" and father to the two daughters they had while she was separated from society.  She has since reconciled with her four other children.  MK and her husband work, him as a DJ and her as a legal assistant, and live in the Seattle area.  I believe she is 48 and he is 27.  Their girls are 12 and 13.  That's 14 years of living that's flowed beneath the bridge since a once unknown authority figure allowed herself to develop sexual and romantic feelings for a kid in her care.

Another odd tragic life, several lives, in a nutshell.  But they have endeavored to move past the wreckage and tabloid headlines to lead a pretty unassuming life.  Except when they choose to give the occasional interview to 'People' magazine or 'The Today Show.'  Which is what they did this morning!  Meredith Vieira conducted the stumbling stop-start-stutter question-and-answer session.  It was one of those studio interviews, with one party ensconced in their local network studio and the major network news personality perched on the set couch with their query list.  Only no cheat sheet was going to improve this television moment.

It seems MK is a grandmother now.  Her son from her previous marriage, who is a full year younger than her husband,  is the proud new parent.  And that is a very lovely milestone for a family to experience.  But given the overall ick factor inherent in MK's story, the arrival of a grandbaby doesn't soften the edges of the gargantuan gray cloud which hangs over everything she does, and will ever do, in the public eye.  Family video of MK with her son, husband, and the baby only served to enhance the age differences between all parties and why that is so.

The producers of the famed morning show did nothing to aid in the rescue of the sinking interview: at one point, MK is asked a heavy question which required a reflective response, and as she attempted to give that reply, 'The Today Show' played old footage of MK in court, answering a similar question.  Her recorded voice rode over her real time voice and seemed to interrupt whenever she tried to reboot her answer.  I understand if the personal opinions of people, including staff on the show, lean toward the negative, the doubtful, the downright disgusted, but why let that bleed into your job?  People could possibly learn something here if the woman was allowed to speak.  The entire conduct of the episode was not indicative of quality programming nor did it adequately reflect the possible newsworthy items which could have been gleaned from this unique, if not infamous, couple and their latest sound byte.

Though I concur with the law and the moral high ground here, I do believe the woman has served her time and the young man had his time to reflect, hear what his own family had to say, and receive counseling.  After all of that, if they still desired a life together, then it's theirs to have.  If there was a repeat offense, I'd be the first to say send her back.  And like many folks, I wonder how she would have reacted had this happened with one of her own sons; she already expressed her opinion this morning concerning her daughters, stating there are differences between boys and girls, and it is certainly not okay for girls.  That simply sounds like someone who harbors a need to cast a subtle righteous light on her own actions despite what society says.


Meredith asked how MK's kids could possibly forgive her for what she did so many years ago when they most needed their mommy.  Now, maybe I'm cut from a different bolt of cloth, but I understand how they could and would forgive.  Human beings are capable of a great deal that seems unfathomable when contemplated by the everyday mind: only when we are presented with the extraordinary, can we begin to understand our capabilities.  Only then can we fully draw upon the potency and strength which exist behind those words which convey an idea, an attitude, a way of life.  Forgiveness is only one in a long line of such words.  What about honor, respect, love, compassion, integrity, and character?

This type of story probably reflects the true and difficult nature of real forgiveness more effectively than a good many examples I've seen in the lives of people around me.  The transgression is out there for all to see, it reflects a socially repulsive behavior, and it can not be swept under even the biggest and best of Persian rugs.  It is unusual.  Yes.  Most uncomfortable.  Yes.  100% corrupt in its inception.  Yes.  But these types of stories, with their possibilities of rebuilding an existence from a pile of bitter ashes, are far more abundant than you might think.  And if we can flex our brains beyond their trained limits, I am positive there are aspects of the unknown which can benefit us and even prepare us for the years yet stretching ahead.  You don't have to be MK's best friend, or god-parent to her grandbabies.  Just hear her out and read behind the words.