Wedding Cake and Potato Salad

I'm sitting out on my patio with the Dell laptop, watching Hank yank wide strips of bark from the logs rimming the outermost edge of said patio, and chatting with my eldest child as she sips on her protein shake and whittles away her green salad.  (She generally graces me and the pets with her presence during her workday lunch break; Hank and Quill run for the door when Ashley's Honda Civic comes purring up the driveway.)  Earlier, I finished my own lunch, which consisted of something other than potato salad and wedding cake for the first time in five days: leftover lamb chops and green beans from my anniversary dinner of yesterday, actually.

The day is unseasonably warm, creeping up into the low 80's for about the fifth day in a row.  Yesterday we had bright sun and light breezes; today the sun has yielded to a thin blanket of cloud cover and the breeze has become more of a mild wind.  A male cardinal serenades us in the background, though truly we are not the object of his lustful warbling.  My daughter, Ashley, hears our neighbors across the back stretch of fence, and wishes aloud that we, too, had an outside television.  To this I loudly protest.  There has to be some place where the watchful eye of the world ISN'T.  I still like to believe that the yard is a rather sacred place where the plants and birds and bees should garner top entertainment billing.  Oh, and Hank the Wonder Pup, of course, who is now chasing one of those bees.  (He caught a fly last week.)

This all sounds rather normal and idyllic.  And it is.  Wonderfully and blessedly so . . .  at least on the face of things.  But there are currents which have forever been crossed and charged. In the space of a day, by blog time, everything familiar about my life was forever changed by a simple late night conversation across the kitchen island of my family home.  On March 2nd, I hopped online and finally completed my monstrosity of a 2011 Top Ten countdown on my blog; by midnight of March 3rd I was reeling from the news that I might possibly become a mother-in-law before the 19th of the same month!

But how is this possible?  Why has there been no hint of such news in the air?  Well-l-l, to be fair, news of a milder sort had been brewing for some time, but this here blogger has neglected her public forum and, thus, deprived her readers of the necessary facts they'd need to read to be kept abreast of the life and times of the Valdez Bunch.  My middle child, the Chattanooga kid, has been pining away for her high school sweetheart and Army love, Derek, during the entire of her freshman year at college.  But not to the neglect of her studies or family.  (Dean's List first semester; many calls, texts and visits to us here in the 'Boro.) But to the growing lack of sleep and peace of mind due to distance and the unknown future of one in the military. 

Last week was her spring break from UTC, and Derek had intended to return to town, fresh from graduating his advanced training in Texas, to ask her father's permission to request her hand in marriage before heading off to Wiesbadan, Germany for two years.  (A funny little saying when we all know that surely the hand is not ALL the suitor would desire for life.)  A concerted hunt for just the right engagement ring led to a back-and-forth of iPhone pictures displaying the best bling bang for the buck.  Sarah had lined up summer employment to start saving for a December trip to visit her beloved with me as her chaperon.  This was all the talk between us girls, with the guys on the periphery but not altogether absorbed in the news.  So, we all knew this was in the works.

But so were The Oscars and that fabulous Banana Pudding Cheesecake recipe I discovered in the latest edition of Southern Living magazine and baseball season for Zachary and the ongoing saga of Ashley's kitten-cat, Quill, with her mystery allergies that have required her to remain in her Elizabethan-collar since December!  My father-in-law retired.  My son attended his first formal.  Ka-ching! Not to mention my attempts to plan a weekend getaway to mark my 23rd wedding anniversary with my own beloved, the intrepid Jimmy V.  And when? OH WHEN? would the Earth Divas next come together for a little friendship adventure?  And let's not get into tornado warnings on a national scale, early spring and yard work, my good friend's painful divorce headaches, and the fact that my tech-loving dog ate my 3G iphone, my handheld Girlfriend, thus causing the earlier-than-desired purchase of the 4G model!

This will deserve it's very own entry to fully explain!

My father-in-law playing at his own party!

(Check out the cute drummer boy.)

Even the Otter Box was no match for Hank the Wonder Pup!

The trigger to this upgrade in marital planning hinged upon the discovery that the Army base to which Derek is presently en route has an American accredited college on base.  Sarah ran into someone who had attended during his time stationed there.  She decided that if she could transfer her credits and continue her studies, that she was willing to make the move overseas and avoid any further long-term separation from the one holding the other half of her heart.  "On the upside, mom," she sweetly informed me, "you and dad wouldn't have to pay all that money for my schooling! As a military wife, money for education is available to me and it would all become mine and Derek's worry."  She further insisted that this would go through ONLY if the school thing was possible because she didn't want to stop her education in its tracks.

At the UTC Dean's List pin ceremony.

Within the next 36 hours, my girl and her boy managed to sew up all the loose ends with phone calls and e-mails to the Army, UTC and the overseas college.  When I spoke with Sarah either Sunday or Monday night, I made the comment that "if this happens, we'll have to blah, blah, blah" to which she promptly replied, "Oh, it's happening, mom.  I already know the answers.  It can all work out."  Somewhere in all of this, she also had very in-depth conversations with a married ex-military couple (she's a good friend with the wife) as to what they could expect, pros and cons, and how to avoid pitfalls AND make the most of the time abroad.  Sarah also felt that though we all understood many aspects of her relationship, the Army aspect presented unique issues that only those in similar circumstances could comprehend.  Being ensconced in a community of like-minded people was becoming increasingly important to her.  Especially if Derek did, at some point, end up deploying with his unit.

Trust me when I say we engaged in countless discussions over all of this.  But in the end, Sarah Olivia Valdez knows herself and what she wants.  Basically, she's possessed this self-awareness since she was 5 years-old.  It was just the rest of us who needed to figure it out and catch up to her.  One does not talk Sarah OUT of anything.  One must talk WITH her and allow a wide enough berth for her to turn her circumspect 360 degrees as she takes in the surrounding landscape.  Derek is his own person, friendly and polite, but not ingratiating the point of suspicion, like a few of his predecessors.  And friendly and polite don't begin to scratch the surface of his persona.  Suffice it to say that I already loved him before he became my son-in-law.  I know he has my daughter's back.  And I know he is pleased to be a member of our family.  Though both of these young people are 19, they possess good measures of maturity, independence, responsibility and stick-to-it-iveness.  Enough for a safe start.  Enough to push them down the path with their heads held high and hand-in-hand.  The rest, I believe, based on the natures of these two kids and the friends and family behind them, will come in due time.  Probably NOT around Oktoberfest.

Let's call this entry good for the day.  I'm making a promise here and now that my blogging will pick up to a dedicated 3 entries a week.  Otherwise, it ain't much of a blog.  I'll take you behind the scenes of "Planning A Wedding In A Week 101."  It'll cause your head spin and your heart sing.  And potato salad and wedding cake will make perfect sense.

Signing off as the pollen count rises and my sinuses call the development to my attention.